


Awkward Talks With Dad

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 03:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Now I’M thinking about awkward!dad!Chuck that realizes what Cas and Bal are up to and has to give them the talk.</p><p>If any of you writers are reading this (COUGH*CARLY*COUGH) and you love me at all, you will write this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awkward Talks With Dad

Chuck had been in hiding for a year. After the aversion of the apocalypse, he didn’t have a purpose anymore. The books ended. Everything was wrapped up in a pretty pink bow; done. He knew that there was a war going on in Heaven, and while he _did_  care… he also  _didn’t_  care. Even if he did show up to stop it, who would believe that he was really God? Everyone upstairs thought he was a prophet! If he just showed up and started barking orders, it wouldn’t get him anywhere. No. So, he sat back and watched while his children violently murdered each other. After a while, it stopped hurting so much.

            But, then Castiel and Balthazar went back in time and unsunk the Titanic. As Fate had said, you can’t just mint new money every time you need it. That alternate universe had such high soul inflation, everything was going screwy. Because there were so many, you’d need more to beef up on power. It was a stupid idea, a stupid plan… But he let it go. He wasn’t needed. They wouldn’t listen.

            A few months later, Castiel tried to unlock the door to Purgatory. Chuck knew what Castiel was going to do, and boy, did this angel step on the wrong toes. Castiel and Balthazar were talking over coffee (Well, Balthazar was drinking coffee.) and discussing their plans. Castiel was keeping everything from the brother who loved him so much, that Chuck couldn’t stand it. It was disgusting to him.

            “Excuse… me. Didn’t I s-say ‘You shall have no other Gods before me’?” Chuck said as he appeared in the doorway of the room. The house rattled a bit as he entered, but it didn’t faze either of the angels.

            “Chuck? What are you doing here?”

            “ _C..chuck?_ ” He tried to sound intimidating with his imitation, but just sounded afraid. The deity crossed his arms and leaned on the frame. “Is that… that  _any_  way to… to talk to your  _father?_ ” he looked down and mumbled, “Shit. I’m no good at this. Uh…”

            “Father?” Balthazar laughed, then sipped his coffee. “That’s ridiculous. Our father died a long time ago. You’re just a half-baked prophet with a problem with alcoholism.”

            “Bal…Balthazar. Listen… Sometimes… Sometimes people like Daddy fake their own dea—” Castiel tilted his head sideways and walked up to the fumbling Chuck. He narrowed his eyes and gave a light, “I can’t believe this” laugh.

            “You are  _not_  giving us a ‘faking your own death’ talk. You skipped out,  _dad_ —if that even is your real name!” He laughs and paces around. “What’s next? You going to give us a talk about the angels and the demons? Newsflash, Pops. I—”

            “Sit down, shut up…. Uh…” Chuck cringed. “Please. Before I… Uh… Well, I sort of ran out of threats after locking Lucifer in Hell… and we all saw how  _that_  turned out…” He paused. “So… Uh… I guess you two are grounded. I’m not sure what’s really involved in grounding… I’ve only seen it on TV, but… That’s what you two are. Grounded.”

            Castiel and Balthazar just blinked at him blankly. Did he really just say that? The two sent telepathic messages back and forth, and both were equally as confused. “Grounded. Really? You could  _smite_  us, and you decide to keep us trapped in our rooms? Ooh. Castiel, are you upset about being sent back to Autistic Bathtub Man’s Tuesday?” Balthazar bit back. Before he could finish, Chuck grabbed a bottle of scotch from the shelf and backed towards the frame.

            “Well, it was really great chatting with you. Have a great day, boys…” He backed out, then took off running, bottle in hand, leaving the two confuzzled angels in the warehouse, scratching their heads and shrugging. At least they knew who God was… even if he was a little… odd.  _Very_  odd.


End file.
